In Which My Baby Itch Gets... More Itchy

So I have a new nephew! My brother and his wife welcomed their second child into the world last night. Timothy Hunter.

My mom send me three pictures of him, and he's adorable. Wait. Let's back up. My mom send me three pictures. ONLY THREE. Is this some kind of creative torture device, made just for newborn crazies like myself? Come on Mom- how about sending me a kazillion and three pictures.

Then again, being around new babies does not help, not one little bit. I am still wanting to have another baby someday. As my own "baby" becomes more and more, well, like a defiant hairless chimp, I am forced to see that she is no longer an infant. This reality sucks.

But you know, and I know I've talked about this before here, and if you know me in real life than you are surely tired of this topic and I am sorry, but I want anther baby. BUT I'm not sure I want to add another child to our family. I worry about not being able to do a good job with four kids. I worry that the more kids we have, the more socially isolated we will become. I worry that my next baby might grow up too.

So while I love me some newborn neck sniffs, I'm not sure it is actually good for me to participate in such activities. But staying away from new babies is... well, it's like living without hot water OR sex OR chocolate, you know? This situation is the opposite of win-win, because either way I am tortured.

And that friends, is my overly-privileged, blessedly fertile sob story. Sorry Tessie, but this one beats dropping your phone in the pool.

Snippets

Highs/lows vacation:

High- Spending some great time with my husband and WITHOUT the kids.
Low- Packing for the trip.

High- Getting there and realizing that I was happy to be there. I love seeing my kids forming bonds with my family.
Low- Ingesting beef jerky. Into my body. It tasted just like cow flesh. And yet, it was yummy.

High- Spending time with my college roommate and her family, including getting a pedicure!
Low- Discovering there was such a thing as RANCH flavored sunflower seeds. And trying them.

High- Coming home a day early, so that we had an entire day to unload, unpack, unwind before David headed back to work.
Low- Being home and back to the grind.

* * * * * * * * * *

Surprisingly, the kids are still sleeping, and I am on the computer, waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. (Side note- for every molecule of my being that enjoys coffee, another molecule hates actually making the coffee.) The sky is getting darker and darker, and the street lights come on.

As the thunder starts up in earnest, Kate stumbles out of her room, disregarding my "you better sleep until at least 8:30" warnings of the night before. I lure her and, eventually her twin, back to my bed, where the three of us lie listening to the storm rage.

It was dark and gloomy and frankly one of the most peaceful mornings I had experienced in a long time.

* * * * * * * * * *

We are at the County Fair, which is one of my favorite times of summer. Walking through the buildings, seeing all the people from around town, eating snow cones. I am pushing the stroller through a semi-crowded building full of booths and free hard candy when I decide to quickly swerve the stroller. I notice the people walking toward me reacting to something, and I look down in time to see Marin's head hit the concrete and bounce. And bounce again.

I *heard* it bounce too. Shutter.

(She had decided to stand up, which she never does, and I was not aware she was standing.)

David scoops her up, and we discover a nearly golf-ball size lump forming near her right temple. He runs off for ice, while I try to calm her while sitting on a bench. I notice blood by her ear.

We decide to take her to the first aid station, and as we approach a sheriff outside sees us coming and calls for an ambulance. The paramedics look her over and strongly recommend we take her to the hospital. We decline ambulance transportation (it's only 4 blocks away!), and drive her there ourselves. Kate and Joan have been abandoned at the fair with a fistful of ride tickets and a friend of mine (whom they barely know).

The pictures of her skull and neck reveal that everything is intact. We are lucky- no fractures. Her ear is glued where is had torn away from her head. She is fine. We are permitted to take her home.

Her head looks surprisingly good the next day. It is slightly black and blue, but there is no visible swelling. We are happy about the ice packs she endured during our hospital experience.

She is fine. But I can still hear her head hitting the concrete. And see it bouncing.

* * * * * * * * *

I read all the time and have collected an impressive supply of book marks. Trouble is, I can never find a single one. If I do find one, I will maybe use it for a day or two before it is lost again. It is a mystery.

* * * * * * * * * *

My niece is here for a couple of days. She is eleven. She looks exactly like my own daughters, only older. Sometimes when I look at her, I feel like I am getting a preview of my own kids. This is a very odd sensation.

* * * * * * * * *

Tell me, do you ever get "girl crushes" or "couple crushes"? Like, where you meet someone that you really think is kindred to you, and you want to hang out more, but it's kind of... weird to start "dating". And you want to be all cool and say "We should really hang out sometime" all casual-like, but really you are forcing yourself not to say "How about my place? Tomorrow? Or the next day? Thursday is bad, but if that works best for you, I could make something work. I mean, only if you want to. I mean, I have tons of people to hang out with, so you know, it's cool if you're busy." The parallel between making friends with other mom/families and dating are so real that I don't miss dating one bit!

* * * * * * * * * *

I am struck by how old and independent my girls seem, now that they can ride bikes without training wheels. Sometimes, and I watch them speed down the sidewalk, my eyes get a tiny bit misty. Other times, when we are on a family bike ride, I nearly crack up at the sight of them- they look just like little ducklings, peddling along after Papa Duck. This particular milestone was one I was not expecting to be so... momentous. And yet.