Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Past Lives

I'm hesitant to mention her again, in case you get the wrong idea about me. Sure, I like her show, depending on the topic, and I DVR it and watch only those I'm interested in. But I'm not sitting on the edge of my seat over here, waiting for her to tell me what to read next or shelling out 300 actual dollars for a bathrobe or taking her "online classes" or anything.

That said, I just have to ask you about Oprah's recent shows about past lives. I am so intrigued. She's got Dr. Oz and this other dude (hold on a sec, I have to google it...) Dr. Brian Weiss, who hypnotizes people and takes them back to previous lives.

Now, I'm going at this topic with a completely open mind, trying not to bring my religious beliefs into it. I'm thinking- WHAT IF.

It's so crazy to think about. I'm so curious to know if I would have any past life experiences. What about my parents? My kids? My husband? Wouldn't it be cool to know what "previous" experiences our children had?

Could knowing this information help us understand each other better? "Oh, well, my daughter was a Samurai in her past life, so, you know, she's bound to be working through some aggression." Or "So-and-so was royalty in a past life, so that explains her current princess tendencies." I mean, we ALL know a "princess" in this life, right?

Many of the people who were hypnotized could remember dying or being killed. For these people, how they died in previous lives explained many of their fears/dreams/phobias in this life. Many found the experience very healing. But what if you were the MURDER-ER. Or, say you found out you were... HITLER or something? (Then again, what if you were George Washington? Martin Luther King Jr? MISTER ROGERS????) (Why are all of my hypotheticals MEN? Maybe I was a man in a past life? Hee.)

Also, some of these people remembered past lives from not too long ago. So wouldn't it be possible that you would have children/grandchildren still living in THIS LIFE, and if you could remember enough details about your previous life, you could look them up?

It could happen. And that would be weird. "Hi Tom. Nice to meet you. I know this sounds strange, but my daughter Kate? She was your dead Uncle George in her past life? Remember good ol' George? Yeah, that's right, he died in 'Nam.")

So? Maybe it's best to leave it alone?

I'm not sure I even "believe" in it. I just like to entertain the possibilities.

Also, in a blatant attempt to troll for sympathy/kudos/CASH PRIZES for my bravery, and also speaking of FEARS, I feel the need to tell you- I had to have an Emergency Root Canal (!!!!!) on Monday (on a tooth that recently had a filling but now the tooth is dying). AND I had to do it without ANY gas/happy-drugs/anti-anxiety meds. AND I have to go back tomorrow for MORE work on that tooth. I AM YOUR HERO, I know, I know. Not everyone can be tough like me...

Fucking dentist.

(Hi Dentist! If you ever find this blog... um... I like YOU. Just not all your masochistic TOOLS and your stupid Xrays that MAKE ME GAG. WHO NEEDS TEETH?)

(Also, I'm pretty sure my file at the dentist's is labeled "RUNNER!!!!!" because I HAVE actually run out the door before. Now? When I get there? I don't even GET IN THE DOOR and they are taking me back. I've NEVER (since I ran, and barfed twice in the parking lot) sat for a SINGLE SECOND in the waiting area. They probably have a team meeting, and have, I don't know, ROPES or something set aside to TIE ME DOWN if need be.)

(Also? My dentist is now my FRIEND, and we get together often with our kids, or as couples, and OMG I could DIE. Because I HATE DENTISTS. But you should see how COOL I can be hanging out with her. NOT sweating, or running out the door or twitching or ANYTHING. Well, at least not until I had to have an EMERGENCY ROOT CANAL (see: above)

(Also? I'm really curious to hear how you feel about past lives. All this DENTIST TALK may have distracted you, but past lives is really what I'm interested in... I mean, IF YOU INSIST, we can talk about how much DENTISTS SUCK... I won't mind that either.)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Memo To Myself: Read This Before You Decide To Get a Cat


2. Cat hair

3. Cat barf

4. Cat Me-yowling at the ass-crack of dawn

5. You don't have a cat right now because of gross negligence.


7. Cat scratches on furniture

8. Cat scratches on children. (Should this one be listed ahead of furniture?)


10. Cats are not babies, and what you really want is something small to mother.

11. Too many friends are allergic/miserable when visiting your home.


13. Cat guilt when you are out of town.

14. Cat hair, on your clean, clean floors. And beds. And furniture. And clothes.

15. Kittens are fun; cats are evil and want you dead. Also? The lick their butts while you are trying to sleep.

You don't need a cat. You have enough responsibilities in your life with your house and your children and your job and your new Lost addiction.


Hey, have you weighed in on the pubic hair discussion? Go, do that! It's below.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Waaaay Too Personal


So here's what I'm wondering.... Do you have pubic hair?

If you DO, do you do the whole trim and shave routine on a regular basis, or just when you are going to the doctor/wearing a bathing suit? Or do you do nothing at all?

If you DON'T, how do you get rid of it? Do you wax, shave, or some other magic? Do you do this year round, or just for special occasions?

What about your friends/sisters- especially those younger than you? Do they have pubic hair?

I have a theory that pubic hair is on the way out, just like arm pit hair and leg hair. I'm guessing the younger women (let's say, 25 and younger) routinely go bald in their nether regions. Are teenagers getting Brazilians? Like, before prom?

Feel free to answer anonymously.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Kind Of All Over The Place Today

*Sure wish the contractor we hired would show up. What should be a 2-3 day job is now going on a week... and he's been a no show for 2 (mild and sunny and perfect for working outside) days.

*There is so much to pack/prepare for camping. It will be worth it, but I wish I had a fast-forward button to transport myself to sitting by the campfire, with the tent set up and supper cooking, and with the fight that David and I ALWAYS have before leaving on a trip behind me.

*When I got Marin dressed this morning, I forgot to put a diaper on her. A little later, she was asking me for help, and showing me a big wet spot on the floor, and I was STUMPED. I could not figure out where the wetness came from. Until I noticed her shorts and shirt (!!) were also wet. Heee. Also, in my 4 1/2 combined years of diapering children, I've never forgotten to put a diaper on. (Until today.)

*Kate is riding her bike without training wheels, and Joan is blowing bubbles with gum.

*I only have to cook 1 meal over the next 3 days.

*I regret cutting bangs. Do I have time/desire/skill to deal with these flippy little fuckers? No, no I do not.

*We have ants.

*Why would someone in this household open a can of peaches, when there is a drawer full of perfectly ripened, fresh, and fragrant peaches in the fridge?

*Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who? (Who's seen too much Shrek? Who, who, who?)

*Should I be blogging or packing? PACKING. Fuck me.

*Speaking of, we got caught having sex. Again. By Kate. She burst into our room and crawled in bed with us. Oh, man. Man. MAN!

*I love early summer. Early summer is my new boyfriend. We're intimate, but not having sex yet.

*I had a great day yesterday of friends (Pammy and Kris) and community and frozen coffee drinks. I'm going to have a great weekend, with friends and community and community meals (!) and probably not frozen coffee. But! Campfires!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Old and New

Each morning, as I was sleepily stumbling downstairs, this is the first thing I saw:

Only, I usually had it covered with a blanket because *shudder* this is one ugly sight.

Now when I wake, this is what I see:

(Though usually Marin is not there to greet me; instead she's confined to her crib where her morning crowing wakes us all up waaaaaay to early.)

It's a great improvement, and I've been trying to think of excuses to veg on the new furniture. (I can report that the longer couch is very nap friendly.) Our living room was a rarely used place before- all of us opting instead to hang out in the family room on the comfortable (and pleasant to look at) leather seating.

Now that we have REAL! couches, instead of something that belongs in a smelly frat house, we are all more likely to wind up in the living room. Even the kids seem affected- choosing to play in the living room more than ever before. I am very sensitive to aesthetics, so you can imagine that this improvement makes me happy.

Now, what to do with the old couch? Currently it is sitting in my dining room (AHHHH). Do I drag it to the curb and put a "FREE" sign on it? Put an add on Craig's list? Is it better to advertise it for free, or to ask twenty bucks for it? (My grandma argues that you will get more people interested if you sell it rather than give it away. This, at least, has been true for her in the dog-selling business.)

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


Hi! It's early, and the house is quiet, and the windows are open, and the streets are wet. I've been sitting here for 20 minutes uploading pictures, and I didn't Fbomb it once. What a great time of day to write blog posts! Also: I need coffee.

So, here's the teacher gifts that we made for Kate and Joan's preschool teachers. I got the idea from Midwest Mom (this post is her project). Since my girls are a little older than Harper, I let them hand paint each card. We made three sets (two for teachers, one for my grandma), so I had them do three cards of each color flower. Then I added some envelopes and some cute ribbon, and we were done.

These are a sample of Joan's cards. Also, fun fact! Did you know that her name is pronounced JoAnne? Joan is actually her real middle name in real life, and she is named after my grandma, who uses the same spelling.

Kate is obsessed with painting so she did more cards than Joan (JoAnne!). I'm so glad I took pictures of these, since we gave them all away!

Here's the finished product, before we put it in a nice gift bag.

Also, I included these two pictures for their teachers. This one is their first day of preschool in September 2006.

This is them on their last day of preschool (May 2008). I think it's fun to see how much they've changed during their 2 years at preschool. They were such babies when they started!

Finally, here's some recent shots of our family enjoying the newly summerish weather:

I love seeing them so happy.

I like to call this one "Daddy's helpers".

We take pictures with our blooming crab apple tree every year.

She's crouching down, copying Daddy, who was crouching down to take her picture.

I love how green everything is this time of year.

Marin and Daddy, at the lake a few blocks from our house.

We walk to the lake almost every day. The girls love to throw rocks.