Saturday, October 11, 2008

Little Mommy


Go to the toy section of your local department store (in our area, we can choose between Target and Walmart). Find the doll aisle. There is a brand of doll called "Little Mommy" by Fisher Price. This is a doll that babbles and coos and says "mama". It has some sort of motion detector that makes it "talk" when you walk by.

Hold doll close to your ear and activate the talking. About the third babble, the doll will coo and then say, quite clearly "Islam is the light".

I'm totally not kidding.

Once you hear it, you'll be able to hear it again and again quite clearly.

I almost bought one because this cracks me up. It's amusing to me, and even more amusing to me that people find it "offensive". My friend Tina first heard about this on the news, and I guess people were "outraged".

Seriously, check it out and then tell me what you hear.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

People Magazine: Group Analysis

What I got paid to do last night:

*Clay Aiken is gay? NO WAY! Didn't see that coming.

*Mary Kate and Ashley: eating disorder or reduced kidney/liver function? Girls, you need some color on your cheeks. Also, a cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake. Super sized.

*Tori Spelling, are you trying to look like Michael Jackson? Do you think, perhaps, you've had enough procedures? Honey, if you do anymore, you'll look more plastic-y Zsa Zsa Gabor.

*Lindsey Lohan- Is she really gay, or has she finally whored* her way through all available Hollywood men?

*Brittney Spears is finally looking healthy. Though after she shaved her head, there really was no place to go but ^up.

*Dibs on Tina Fey as my new Pretend Celebrity Girlfriend (credit to Beth for the wordage). Those SNL skits are little pick-me-ups-- sanity savers even! "We'll ask ourselves 'What would a maverick do?' and then we'll do something maverick-y." **

*according to spell check this is not a word, just so you know.
**not a direct quote, but close
(my internet is being difficult, so I am not able to look anything up with any speed.)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

'Tis the Season

So I totally didn't need to read this story about a woman who drank down her morning coffee only to find a BAT in the coffee filter after she was done. Thanks AP, but DAMN. I can promise you, without even exaggerating, that I will NEVER again empty the coffee filter without first peeking for bats. EVER. (And perhaps even more obviously: I will also never again drink my coffee without first checking for bats. EVER.)


I wonder just how dead I would die, if I were to find a BAT in my coffee filter.

Which leads me to another coffee related mystery- how does the coffee pot heat water so fast? If I put water on the stove or in the microwave, it takes at least a few minutes to start bubbling and/or steaming. But you punch the "on" button on the coffee pot and *POOF* out spouts steaming how liquid. I do not understand.

(I just got a mental picture of a bat in my coffee filter, and me punching the "on" button, and the bat making that AWFUL screechy bat noise as he gets scalded to death, and me not knowing where the noise was coming from, but then I peak into the filter JUST TO BE SURE and the bat lurches out, right next to my face. BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE. ... yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd be DEAD dead, and not just dead.)

Over at Milk and Cookies they are talking about baby Halloween costumes, which got me thinking about our costume situation here. My girls are going as Mary, Laura, and Carrie Ingalls. YES they are. This is fitting since we are a tiny bit obsessed with LHOTP, and we live close to the town of Mankato- THE real Mankato that is mentioned on the show and in the books. (So if you need to stock up on peppermint sticks or bolts of calico, let me know. I will hook you up.) (Joke credit: Neighbor Kris, who unfortunately doesn't have a blog) (that I know of).

So anyway, my mom made their dresses and my BFF gave them prairie bonnets.... but I don't know what to do about shoes for them.... I'm pretty sure Marin's pink crocs or Joan and Kate's modern sneakers will pretty much kill the whole costume. Any ideas?