Sister-Wife

Am I crazy to have found this Oprah, about polygamy, somewhat appealing?

Put aside the fact that I don't believe in polygamy, and neither does David, and just picture it: Another woman in the house, who knows your husband well and can relate to ALL of your frustrations. She, in theory anyway, would also help with all things mom-related as well as all household chores/tasks. There would always be another adult to talk to, as well as that extra set of hands and eyes.

I would sort of be like the commune I've been romanticizing, except with less hairy male bodies clogging up the shower drain. And as far as "wifely" duties? Would any of us really mind dispersing those a bit? (As a side note, I like sex. My husband is respectful and not pushy, and I find it to be a very enjoyable part of our life. BUT. HE could easily have... more of it. Ya know?)

Of course, I am picturing having some control over the choosing of this sister-wife(s), which in real polygamy relationships probably doesn't happen. Also, in my fantasy version of this lifestyle, my husband does not favor her over me- I'm clearly the Alpha-female in the house. Also, a gazillion kids? 1800's dresses? Other weird religious thingies? NO.

But dividing the chores/meal planning/ kid duties? Having a baby or two around the house that I didn't have to carry in my body and don't have to get up with in the night? Having DOUBLE the female shoes in the house? Hell yes!

(I mean NO! I don't want to share my husband. Of course I don't. Much. I mean, this is clearly flawed thinking on my part. I have no idea why that show was so damn intriguing to me.)

Fall

Fall colors:

Finding the perfect pumpkin:

Marin's first trip to the pumpkin patch:

Running:

And jumping:

On a walk:





Yes, those are Easter bonnets they are wearing. They have fashion sense like that:

Baabbyyyyyy Legggggsssss

I'm loving these things.

I ordered Marin 3 pairs. I especially love that they make them for boys too.

+++++++++++

OVERHEARD:

Me: So which planets did you talk about today?

Joan: Ummm, Jupiter, and Mars, and...

Kate: That one! Like what Daddy has!

(David and me-in our heads: What? Ur-anus? How do they know that??)

One beat, two beats, three beats go by...

Joan: You know, like what DADDY has?

Me (light bulb!): Oh, you mean Venus?

Joan: NO! It's PENIS. My teacher said so! Penis.

Me: No, actually, the planet is called VVVV-enus.

Kate: NO! IT'S NOT! IT'S PENIS. MISS BECKY SAID!

Okaaaayyy, whatever you say.

(Can't you just hear them at preschool? "My daddy has one of those!")

+++

Joan, having a disgusting habit of keeping a booger on her top lip, and licking it slowly, like a lollipop, shrieks at David when he wiped her face (unknowing of her lovely habit)- "HEY! I was eating that!"

+++

Kate: I don't want to get my ears pierced because it would HURT. I'm just going to wait for a hole to open up, and then stick an earing it it.

+++

Me: Well, how do you tell a girl baby from a boy baby?

Joan: By its clothes!

Me: But when they are born, they don't have any clothes on. How do we know what the baby is then?

Joan: By it's hair!

Me: No. Think about it. Do you know the difference between boys and girls?

Joan: By their voice!

(So my girls think there is a planet called Penis, like Daddy has, but have NO idea how to tell boys and girls apart. Interesting.)

Halloween Preview

The kids were invited to a Halloween party this week.

Here's my little bunny. If you ask her what a bunny says, she bounces up and down and says "Op, op, op".

If I were in this picture, you would see me rolling my eyes at my little "Stephanie's". This is the first year they had any say, or any opinion, about their costume. Hey, at least it's not Barbie!


PS. Like the Black Spiderman hidden between my kids? He's the neighbor, not merely a figment of your imagination. (You: "WHEW!")

PPS. AND. Let's hope that a) Marin doesn't grow a single millimeter between now and Halloween and b) that the pink wigs can be salvaged from the tangled mess that they have become after JUST ONE USE. (You: "Ummm, Halloween costumes are typically a ONE USE deal." Me: "Oh.") Or! Maybe I could dye their ACTUAL hair pink on the real Halloween? Any ideas/recommendations for pink, non permanent hair dye?

Hey! I Should Update My Blog!

Whew! Our first official Week of Sick (for this season) is over, and we survived. It always takes awhile to remember how to function during flu season, doesn't it? Placing tissue boxes on every available surface, finding the thermometer and Motrin and Tylenol, re-memorizing the Family Practice phone number... I don't have to tell you- you know how it goes...

As a sick-week souvenir, my breast sprouted gaping sores- thrush, I think, passed to me from my antibiotic slurping daughter. WE SHARE EVERYTHING.

That same baby? The one that is allergic to milk and had a double ear infection for DAYS before I took her in? She's walking now. One day, she refused unless she had my finger to hold on to, the next she zombie-walks all over the house.

Also? My older two are addicted to tv/computer games. I am ruining their brains FOREVER, but it's so peaceful. Everyday, I say to myself "I will allow less tv/computer games today". But then? Then I don't.

Confession: We got DVR and we're all a bit in love with our TV. Tongue-kissing, can't take our hands off each other kind of love.

That "tv-ruins-kids'-brains" data... that's all just a racket, right?

Satis-fac-shun!

1. I ran 20 minutes! I can finally move on from Week 5!! And it was far more of a mental challenge than a physical one. Woot! Woot!

2. My baby is sleeping SO much better since we stopped dairy last week. Is it bad to say that I knew all along that it was quite likely the dairy that was causing her problems? I just didn't want to believe it. Because, dude, yogurt is easy and healthy and full of calories. And cheese is quick and filling and she loves it so. We're going to be trying out the soy versions this week. (Gag-a-licious.) But yeah! I'm sleeping.

3. David said to me last night- "Even if you got a job making 2x what I make, I STILL wouldn't be able to stay home with the kids. They would have to go to daycare, because I couldn't handle it." Those may possibly be my very favorite-est words he ever said to me! He doesn't know how I do it.

4. It's rainy and cool here today (versus rainy and hot, which is what we had all weekend). I can wear hoodies and make soup and pumpkin cookies (like these). And I might even do this little project, because pumpkins make me smile. It's fall and I'm happy.

5. David and I have been machines around here lately. Every project we complete is a weight lifted that I didn't know I had. It helps that our weekends are not overbooked like they are in the summer...

[Edited to add: 6. I went shopping at and local outlet mall on Saturday and everything for fall was 70% off! I got the kids (and myself!) bags and bags full of stuff. Carters! Osk Kosh! Eddie Bauer! Old Navy! I can't believe I almost forgot about this! I would include pictures of my bargains, but, I'm a little embarrased. About the volume. ]


(P.S. In case you didn't follow those other two links, you need to check out THIS website. One of my favorite bloggy friends started it, and all of my other favorite bloggy friends have been submitting ideas and it's fun! It's over there, on the side bar too.)

Just Like Having A Newborn In The House...

Only, with more frosting. And it's the frosting that motivated me to get out of bed this morning. Thinking about eating a spoonful, right from the container...

That's the beauty of being an adult. No matter how much our children keep us up at night, or how nighttime feels like a game of musical beds, we can still choose to eat frosting for breakfast.

I have a new theory about Marin's night time trouble- it's milk. She LURVES her some dairy- especially cheese. And I love giving it to her, because it's full of calories. And if she's consuming lots of calories during the day, she won't want to nurse all night, right? Now I'm wondering if she is possible irritated by the dairy and therefore cries at night because of tummy aches. Ok, let's back up. She CLEARLY has tummy aches- she wouldn't be a genetic Green baby if she did not consume her weight in Mylicon by age 1- but I'm not sure if it's just her anatomy or if it has more to do with her diet. So I think I'll cut out ALL dairy for awhile and see if it helps. On the one hand, I'm hoping it doesn't. Because what am I going to feed her if she can't have cheese/yogurt/milk? But on the other- sleep sounds so inviting.

Which leads me to my new invention idea. Which also leads me to a "Hill to Die On" topic (Swistle's words)- sleep sharing. But! I have such a cozy and nice (and also: small) readership that I am confident that we can all be nice.

The Green Family Nighttime Plan is as follows: We sleep wherever it is that we all get the most sleep. Ideally, this means in our own beds, but sometimes it means the kids are in bed with us or we are in their bed or whatever. For the twins, we always put them to bed in their own beds, but often would let them come and join us, in the name of getting more sleep, during the night. We've had "rules" like- if it's before 4am they have to nurse and go back to their own beds, if it's after 4am they can stay. We went through a time when we would each take one twin and sleep with her in separate beds. We've had times when we lay with them at night until they are asleep, and other times when they go to bed on their own, no problems.

Our sleep situation has gone through many phases, but always resulted in us getting a satisfactory amount of sleep. Also: a minimum of crying on the twins' part. We are not in the "cry it out camp". Instead, we follow the "meet a need and the need goes away" camp.

Then Marin came along. She slept with us, in my arms, exclusively for her first 6 months. I had lots and lots of icky complications after her birth, so this was purely for my own convenience. I had an extremely slow recovery- complete with a handful of extra surgeries and TONS of doctors visits and stupid, stupid tests, so I NEEDED to sleep. I needed to not get up at night. I slept very well with her there. Around six months, I started putting her to sleep in her crib, and she was completely fine with it. She still loves her crib.

But. She has nights where she cries a lot. And then she toots. Then sleeps some, cries some more, toots some more. We massage her tummy, give her gas drops, help her find a comfortable position etc. We do not sleep much on these nights.

So! My invention is: a full or queen or king sized crib, sturdy enough for an adult. That way you could lay with your baby as needed, them hop out and go back to your own bed too.

That would be handy, right? I could make a fortune on this, right? Because, the way I see it, the co-sleeping issue revolves around wanting one's OWN space for sleeping. I want that too. But I also want to sleep, and I don't want to keep jumping out of bed on nights when Marin is having gas attacks. So, it would be perfect to be able to crawl in with her once in awhile, and if I got uncomfortable, sneak back to my own bed without disturbing her. When she's in MY bed, the only way to get more space for myself is to move her back to her crib. Sometimes this works fine; other times it wakes her up.

So! A Queen-sized crib. With silent rails for quick and easy REMOVING OF THYSELF. One can dream....

(That is, if one can get enough sleep to dream...)

Cereal Pit

Here is what we did for Marin's party yesterday:

This has become a Green Family Tradition, and Joan and Kate were SO excited for Marin to try it out. (They love watching home movies- something about combining vertigo with mind numbing, no plot tv- and have watched their own 1st birthday many times.)

Anyway, it was fun. Of coarse, we had rules. 1) No diving and 2) Please don't pee in our pool.

I thought we could pour in a gallon of milk and have a family breakfast this morning, but David dumped it last night. Party pooper!

Also, here is my very first attempt at a cake. From a distance, it looked great.

And those little frosting bags? With the different fancy tips? They are AWESOME for sucking down the left-over frosting. It goes straight down the gullet- nearly as effective as shooting the sugar straight into your veins.

Just sayin'.