Tuesday, September 9, 2008


So, when school started last week, I would have written a letter that looked something like this:

Dear School Routine,

Welcome back! We were ready to give you time off last spring, and we embraced your substitute, Summer Routine. However, when Summer Routine went AWOL sometime around August 1st, we became a bit aimless. It was fun for a (short) while, but when you returned we were OH-SO-HAPPY.

The Greens

Now, if I were to write the same letter, it would go something like this:

Dear School Routine,

You have thoroughly kicked our asses. We are tired. We are crabby. You are a slave driving bitch.

*Middle Finger*,
The Greens


Kate has been crying everyday at drop-off. When I leave (after a hojillion neck-strangulation-type hugs), she is fine. She loves kindergarten, in fact. But she's also nervous and anxious and sad to leave her mama for so long.

Joan skips into school like she is the most happy-go-lucky child ever to burst through those doors. She says to the teacher- "She's been crying everyday. _I_ don't know why. _I'm_ not crying." She says this shrugging her shoulders and eying Kate as if she is the most alien child in the class, instead of the twin sister WHOM SHE SHARED A WOMB WITH.


Marin says to me- "Mama. Sit. Play wif me."

*Blink, blink*

Um, Marin, perhaps you didn't get that memo, but I'm not the type of mama who plays with children. I'm here to wipe your nose, kiss your bumps, make you lunch, cuddle you before nap, take you on stroller rides, and put Elmo on the TV when you start driving me nuts.

She also says to me- "Come ON Mama. Let's go! Get Joan-Kate time!"

And it's only nine o'clock in the morning.

(Girlfriend needs a baby-sibling!)


Swistle said...

This was so, so funny. Favorite parts:

1) "*Middle Finger*"

2) the way Joan tells the teacher about Kate's crying


LoriD said...

Ha ha. I was looking forward to the school routine too, but now it's kicking my ass.

I have the solution for Marin - let her play with all of Joan & Kate's stuff that is usually off limits! Works for my baby every time.

d e v a n said...

haha! So funny!

Tracy said...

if you could just carbon copy the second letter to our morning routine, that would be great!

Kristin.... said...

Poor Kate. I do hope things get better.
I love the school routine. Summer kicks my ass, with it's laziness and general chaos. Ahh fall.

Kelsey said...

Are you so fascinated by their different experiences of school? I feel like this would be endlessly interesting to me.

I was looking forward to the school schedule (4 days/week for us), thinking that we'd get the baby on a schedule. Nope! I mostly just sucks!

Erin said...

Sorry about Kate's crying. That must suck. Still, I am amazed at how different they can be.

The *middle finger* part really cracked me up. Hang in there; hopefully it will get easier!

Anonymous Her said...

Aw, poor Kate. I was totally like that in Kindergarten. Cry till I couldn't see mom anymore. No wonder she made me ride the bus...

Astarte said...

I think it's funny how the kids that you expect to cry don't, and the ones that you think will couldn't care less if you ever came back.

I love the Giving The Finger idea! Very funny!!!

Renée said...

It's always serendipitious to be jumping from blog-to-blog and happen upon a random post that truly makes you laugh out loud. Nice. Love the letter!