The Honeymoon is Over

Sweet Baby Marin. What happened? For your entire time on this planet, you've been so relaxed, so happy, so "Sure, you want to set me on the floor without any toys and walk away? Ok, I'll just play with my spit". Even through all of my postpartum complications and surgeries (all 5 of them), you were a breeze to care for. Compared to your older and very demanding sisters, you were like a fresh breath of Black Hills air. Now, though, it's more like a squirt of grapefruit juice to the neck.

I know you are trying to learn to crawl, but Baby, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Because as soon as you learn to crawl, I'll have to start chasing you around and telling you "No-no", gently at first, but more and more firmly as you learn to test your limits. I don't want to enter the disciplining stage of your life yet. It's been so wonderful to just cuddle you and freely offer you my mommy milk without worry of spoiling you. It's only now, in the wake of Frustrated-Up-All-Goddamn-Night-Marin that I learn that I am the spoiled one. *Sigh*

To be clear, I don't mind the all night nursing- we've been doing that most of your life. I can sleep through nursing and appreciate the fact that you are a baby, and babies have needs. But do you have to be so cantankerous at 3 am? Do you have to kick, throttle, head-butt, and pinch? Do you have to practice crawling, using my body as your personal climbing gym, ALL NIGHT? Sweetheart, there's plenty of time for that during the day.

And BTW, what's all this drooling about? Are you cutting your first tooth too? You should really stop that, because learning to crawl is disrupting your personality enough. Just a thought.

I love you, baby girl. But Mama needs some sleep. Ok?