A Letter To Toy Makers

Dear Toy Makers,
I realize that this is a holiday weekend, but my request is urgent.

Could you please stop making toy phones, cell phones, and other "electronics" in the ever-so-obvious primary colors? These toys, while probably perfectly fun to play with, give themselves away to my 8 month old by their blatant toyness.

Instead, could you consider manufacturing a line that look, sound, and act real? For example, it's not enough to look like a real phone. This "toy" must also *beep* and light up like the real thing. A real dial tone and real ringing sound would also be helpful. (Ditch the grating computer voice that chirps "HELLO BABY!!!!". Real phones don't do that, as any baby knows.) My daughter would also appreciate a toy cell phone, exactly like my real cell phone, minus the ability to accidentally call my doula clients and leave squawking messages.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Also, could you make a real looking camera, with realistic buttons to push and a fun (but not strangulating) carrying strap? A removable lens cover would be bonus. Also consider a Sharpie marker set, with edible (preferable organic) and washable ink. The caps need to be removable, look like an actual Sharpie marker caps, yet not be a choking hazard. You'll have to have one of your toy engineers work out the specs on that. Also real, yet non-poking-your-eyes-out-or-cutting-your-thumbs-off, forks and knives would be a huge hit.

If it would help, I can send you the exact makes and models of all of our current cameras/phones/cell phones/silverware. Also, maybe descriptions of our lamp cords and vent covers.

I believe that many babies would love these products, and if needed I can test out your prototypes on all of my mommy and baby friends.

Sincerely,
Marie Green
Mother of 3