Am I crazy to have found this Oprah, about polygamy, somewhat appealing?
Put aside the fact that I don't believe in polygamy, and neither does David, and just picture it: Another woman in the house, who knows your husband well and can relate to ALL of your frustrations. She, in theory anyway, would also help with all things mom-related as well as all household chores/tasks. There would always be another adult to talk to, as well as that extra set of hands and eyes.
I would sort of be like the commune I've been romanticizing, except with less hairy male bodies clogging up the shower drain. And as far as "wifely" duties? Would any of us really mind dispersing those a bit? (As a side note, I like sex. My husband is respectful and not pushy, and I find it to be a very enjoyable part of our life. BUT. HE could easily have... more of it. Ya know?)
Of course, I am picturing having some control over the choosing of this sister-wife(s), which in real polygamy relationships probably doesn't happen. Also, in my fantasy version of this lifestyle, my husband does not favor her over me- I'm clearly the Alpha-female in the house. Also, a gazillion kids? 1800's dresses? Other weird religious thingies? NO.
But dividing the chores/meal planning/ kid duties? Having a baby or two around the house that I didn't have to carry in my body and don't have to get up with in the night? Having DOUBLE the female shoes in the house? Hell yes!
(I mean NO! I don't want to share my husband. Of course I don't. Much. I mean, this is clearly flawed thinking on my part. I have no idea why that show was so damn intriguing to me.)
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About Me
- Marie Green
- Tiny Town, MN, United States
- I am a mother of four, wife, doula, childbirth educator, and avid reader. My husband David and I have 10 year old twin girls (Jan '03) named Joan and Kate, and a 6 year old daughter (Sept '06) named Marin and a 1 year old named Olive. We are trying to live an honest, simple, and green life here in Tiny Town.
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13 comments:
haha! part of that does sound appealing in theory. (help with chores! A built in friend!) And even though I might not always want to have sex with my husband, I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone else. hehee
I think it intrigued me because it's different than what I live now.
It looks easier too.
Having a built in friend, someone to help with the chores without whinning. If I get annoyed by hubby, I can send him over to her to annoy
instead of me. LOL
Sounds lovely, but not for me... I like to battle my own wars.. if you know what I mean?
:)
Jillian
I saw part of the episode. I do get what you're saying about the appeal.
A built-in best friend (assuming you, not him, get final say in other wife choice), a place to send him when his snoring gets on my very last nerve, someone I trust to watch the baby so I can take a bath in peace - all that sounds lovely.
This is too funny. I watched this show also, and when Jeff came home I asked him if we could get one. I wasn't being serious...but, gosh, it gets lonely at home all day. And cleaning and cooking wouldn't be so bad if I had someone to chat with while doing it. Or someone to occupy the kids while I do it.
But my practical husband thought the best part of it would be we could have her go to work full time and me stay at home full time so we could have all the benefits of dual income and SAHM at the same time.
That took the wind right out of my sails. Defeats the purpose in my eyes. ;)
Glad someone else totally against poligamy found this appealing. Makes me feel a little less weird.
Marie, it's an interesting if disturbing thought. I spent a while in Cameroon years ago, and the northern part of the country has a lot of polygamy. It's simply the way of life. It was really really eye-opening for me. It goes against EVERYTHING we find acceptable, and yet. The women were closer to each other than any one of them was to their husband. It was the kind of relationship I'll never really understand, but it worked for them, for exactly the reasons you say.
There are definitely upsides and downsides to every situation. I agree with devan, though, about someone else doing my "job"! :D
Do you watch the show Big Love? It's one of my favourites - polygamy in a normal neighbourhood and normal clothes (each wife has their own house). I do see the appeal, but I'd have to be the Alpha-wife too.
Pay the third wife $15/hour and you have yourself a nanny. Although, maybe with all the sharing it would be a "nanny with benefits".
I know what you mean. I'm always interested in that subject. But I guess what I'm envisioning is having more copies OF MYSELF. And making them do all the work while I blog.
Or maybe what I want is to have multiple HUSBANDS, and send them all off to work, while I hire people to do housework and cooking since we'd have so much money.
I was just joking with someone about this last weekend....how nice it would be to have another wife around...but we decided she would have to be more of a friend/servant than wife because no sharing of the bed with the husband. That part is definitely TOO FREAKY. Maybe his sister should just move in...that would fix that problem!
It doesn't sound so bad now that you mention it!
It WAS a fascinating show. I think my face was permanently fixed in a "huh interesting..i'm intrigued and horrified all at the same time?" position for the entire hour.
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