Friday, December 14, 2007

It's Still Magical For The Children

Listen, I can easily get swept up into the whole grossness of Christmas consumerism. I could easily be convinced to skip all the shopping and spending on stuff that no one needs and put the money towards, say, a goat for a family in [insert 3rd World Country of choice here]. In fact, I think those programs are wonderful, and I wish I dedicated more of our money to causes like that (instead of paying the damn dentist $4200- readers, you read that right. That's a whole living room set. Puke.)

But see, I have to remember that the presents, and the waiting, and the suspense, and the sparkle of having something new, is part of the magic of childhood. I need to remember that, for my nearly 5 year old twins, this is the Peak for them, when Christmas will never again be this awesome. Next year, and the year after, and the year after that, they will become less innocent. At some point they will figure out that Santa isn't real, that reindeer don't fly, and that mom and dad shop on a budget. Bor-ing.

So it is for them, these little humans that I love so much, that I shelled out hard earned cash on Baby Alive. Now, for those of you without any Pink People under your roof, let me explain: Baby Alive drinks a bottle and then pees her diaper. Some versions of this doll even eat baby food and then SHIT their pants. Did I get the shitting version? NO! We have enough actual people in this house that soil their pants (or arguable worse- yell "MOM! WIPE ME!"). Plus, you have to buy FOOD to feed a DOLL. Um, no. (It's like getting an actual baby, only without the human brain inside the skull that grows and develops and becomes, you know, a member of the family.)

The peeing-only baby it is. I got them this "Only at Target" version. And get this- the dolls are anatomically correct. They are going to die- DIE- when they open up those diapers. And that, friends, is magic for ME.


Holiday tip: Do not store the decadent, melty, AWESOME chocolate truffles (that you pilfered from your husbands office) next to the toaster oven. Especially if you use said toaster oven 90 or more time/day.


Hey, want a quick and easy (and also quite TASTEEE) holiday recipe? No? Had enough tempting recipes lately? Then just skip this last part.

Ritz Cracker Cookies

You will need:

Ritz crackers
peanut butter
chocolate almond bark

Melt chocolate on stove. (A double-boiler will ensure the chocolate doesn't burn). Smear peanut butter between 2 crackers for a "cracker sandwich". 2 sleeves makes a moderate amount, a whole box makes a generous batch. Dip the cracker sandwiches in chocolate until completely covered. Place on wax paper and sprinkle. Let harden. DONE. Now eat no less that 4 cookies, reminding yourself that peanut butter is healthy.

The girls and I made these once already, and then promptly ate them all, so I don't have any pictures to show you. Perhaps we'll make them later, and I'll add pictures? We'll see.


Tessie said...

I think *I* even had a Baby Alive-type peeing doll when I was little. I don't think it was anatomically correct though. BONUS.

I am all for anything with Ritz crackers. Do you read Pioneer Woman Cooks? She made a recipe the other day with Club crackers and BACON.

Anonymous said...

I also had a Baby Alive that was not anatomically correct. Only a child who has not wiped asses for a living would think it's charming to watch something else poo. I also saw a commercial this week for a dog toy that if you fed him water, he peed on the wee-wee mats that came with him. Hey kid, I've got something you can clean up in my yard if you're that interested in picking up after a dog!!!

LoriD said...

Baby Alive was the big gift among my daughter's friends last year. When I asked her after Christmas if she had any interest in it, she told me she had a real live baby (her sister) who peed and pooed and was happy with her new Polly Pockets.

That recipe looks delicious. Will put it on my list of things to try.

Black Sheeped said...

I feel such sorrow over the melted truffles. I hope you spooned up what you could and did not share.

d e v a n said...

I hope they love their baby! I desperately wanted something similar when I was a child but never got it. :(
Now I have 2 of the real live versions and I wonder wth was I thinking...
Also, those crackers? One of my FAVE holiday snacks. YUM!

Artemisia said...

Oh, I do hope you take pictures when they first de-diaper their dolls! Hysterical.

That recipe looks yummy. I have to admit, I am about cookie'd out. Something with Ritz crackers might be just the thing!

Erin said...

Anatomically correct?? Awesome. I had one of those peeing plastic dolls growing up. She was always leaking everywhere. It because a serious pain and eventually she was demoted to Bath Toy, where she lived a long and happy life.

Swistle said...

This was a timely post: I was just today having one of those "staring at tree and all the boxes and thinking 'why do we do this?'" days.

Feener said...

YUM, I am going to have to try that ritz cookie.

Joshua Johnson said...

Here I am ... love your blogs, and you of course! But this is the Joshua wife for those of you concerned...