Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Weaning My Beast

It's time.

It happened this way with the twins too- instead of getting less interested in nursing as they got older, they became obsessed.

Marin is nursing more now than she did at 10 months. I can't even hold her without her pestering me for some milk. Nursing no longer sends her into blissful la-la land of drunken sleep- instead she wants to nurse and Nurse and NURSE all night long. And all day too.

She has worn out her welcome.

Last night I realized that I no longer enjoyed breastfeeding her. I dread it. I've been gamely playing along for awhile now, while my resentful feelings slowly built, because she's been sick off and on so much.

But she's feeling better now. And nursing more than she was last week. The other morning, I switched sides 6 (SIX!!!) times between 5 and 6 am. In the past, if she woke that early, I could briefly nurse her and she'd snuggle next to me and sleep. Now, she'll snuggle next to me only if I INSERT! NIPPLE! IN! MOUTH! And NOW! If I do not comply, she SCREAMS, and thus keeps wakes the whole family.

Clearly her tunnel vision is effecting her sleep. And mine.

Last night she was SO mad at us for not nursing her. We were up with her for HOURS while she dozed and protested. I did not give in. Finally she went back to sleep.

I wish I could continue to breastfeed for awhile. At 12 months, when she was just nursing before naps and bedtime, I was so content with our ways. I was not eager to wean. But things are different now. If only she would have stayed like she was then. But Noooooo, she had to go get all milk-junkie on me.

Let the smackdown continue.


Mommy Brain said...

Oh boy! Hang in there while you wean.

Feener said...

good luck !! I think our babes are about the same age. i weaned her about a month or 2 ago. i have to say, i don't miss it. she was 13 months and that was plenty of time for me.

Jennifer said...

Good luck. I was lucky with my son, he was ready to wean. I fear I'll have the same problem you described with my daughter, though. She seems much more interested in my boobs than my son ever did.

Jennifer, Le Binky Bitch

Jenna said...

I totally thought Zoe would have been like this when I weaned her at 14 months. But she really weaned herself and I was the one who was left all bereft and sad about it.

But I also remember an acquaintance at my breastfeeding support group saying that she thought her son was letting her know he needed to give it up by getting all wierd and hyper attached about it. She felt it was becoming his favorite battle ground where he could WIN and have his way all the time. Don't know if that rings true for you but it's a thought.

Anne said...

Congrats on recognizing your limits and going with it. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

You just gave me nightmares. We're still nursing, too, but I am so ready to give it up. She only nurses 3 times a day (first thing in the morning, before nap and before bed) and it's no more than 5 minutes total per session, but I don't think either of our hearts are in it. We had begun weaning, then she got sick and I went back to 3 times/day because she wouldn't eat anything else. Like you, I just don't enjoy it anymore, but part of me is terrified to go all out and just do it. Sigh. I'd love it if you keep me posted on your Booby Battle. Since our girls are so close in age, I'll be your cheerleader if you need it.

Erin said...

Whoo boy! That sounds like trying times in the Green house. It will pass. It will! And someday (probably soon) Marin will not even remember what nursing is. Wierd, huh?

Be Inspired Always said...

That is certainly a battle. Hang in there, it'll get better. It was so difficult for me to let go of that part, but the enjoyment just wasn't there anymore.

So I stopped, and about two weeks the battle went on.

Then he totally forgot about it.

It's amazing how much we put ourselves through with worrying.


Swistle said...

After my twins were day-weaned, they would still sometimes wake at night, when I wasn't at my mental best. I started offering a sippy cup of milk whenever they woke, then putting them back to bed. It did happen to work with them (they soon stopped waking for sippee cups, too)--but we'll see if it works with Henry when it's his time. Babies are so different.

Misty said...

Your Marin and my Jelly Bean were born the same month and we are still nursing, too. I am interested to know how exactly weaning is done in this situation, to be honest. I haven't read much about weaning in a situation similar to yours. Who knew kids did this kind of thing? Not me. Thanks for the head's up!

desperate housewife said...

Yuck, sounds rough. Good luck.

Welcome to our World said...

Oh I so went through that for awhile mostly out of exhaustion, I think. I worked through it with our first little guy but with this baby currently brewing my belly, I am not sure I can do that again.

I am feeling weaker... 20 months the first time was a LONG old time. I am thinking more like 12 but who knows... I guess we will see how things work out!

Good luck!!!