Saturday, February 20, 2010

Thoughts

-Having friends over can really help with the winter blahs.

-So can completing projects, when the inspiration strikes. And throwing stuff away. OMYGOD, I am practically giddy with glee when I fill a trash bag.

-Whenever I chat with Seester online, I end up laughing so hard that I'm glad no one is watching me. It's ridiculous, really.

-I'm pretty sure I'm not giving up anything for lent. Ah, well, I'm not catholic or anything.

-I had a headache for about 9 days, for all or part of each and every one of those 9 days. Finally, on Thursday, I wanted to go to book club so bad that I took a left-over percoset from one of my many surgeries, and headed out the door, with my head pounding.

-Within minutes of arriving, my head no longer hurt, AT ALL. However. I was... well, totally fucking high. At one point I had the strong urge to hug a friend who was sitting across the room. So I JUMPED up, but then realized how silly I looked. Panning the room, I realized no one noticed, but now I was stuck standing in the middle of the room. So I sank to the floor and sat there.

-I know that doesn't sound like anything, but MAN. I was so HIGH. Soon after, I was weeping from laughter. Turns out things weren't quite as "unnoticed" as I thought.

-Friends that laugh mostly WITH you and only slightly AT you, FTW!

-The highness of my high could have been because about 2 hours before book club, I also took a torodol- also left-over from surgery- but it didn't help the headache. So then I took the percoset. Perhaps the combination of the two? Did me in?

-Anyway, I have about 50 percoset left, so at least now I know a "cure" for my headaches. One that makes me soar, even! (I've never before taken any of my left-over pains meds, but I held on to them, which turns out to have been a GENIUS MOVE on my part!) (Or possibly colossally STUPID. You know, which ever.)

-I left my razor at my mom's house on Christmas. I haven't shaved anything since.

-(True story).

-(There may or may not have been some intermittent trimming going on since then. You'll never know!)

-Speaking of armpits (wait, just to clarify, I don't "trim" my armpits), tonight I was scratching one of mine, and then I smelled it, and then I looked up to see my daughter had a video camera pointed at me. I've entered the phase of parenthood where I have no secrets and no privacy.

-Since I'm on a roll of the highly personal and probably absolutely unneeded sharing of information, I'm going to tell you that my husband believes the old wives tale that celery makes your sperm taste sweeter.

-We had celery for dinner tonight, so he makes oogly eyes at me and says "I'm eating lots of CELERY". And I'm all "For WHO?"

-I do not know if celery actually makes sperm taste sweeter, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT. That shit's for dark corners at college keggers and special occasions only. Very, VERY special occasions.

-I'm publishing before my twitchy trigger finger deletes this entire hott mess.

22 comments:

Kelsey said...

This post is a cure for the winter blahs!

For WHO? Hahaha hahaha hahaha. Amen.

Michelle said...

Percoset makes me freakishly gleeful. Like I want to just hug the stuffing out of everyone I see walking down the street. You gotta be careful with that shit. ESPECIALLY if your husband is eating celery.

Jennie said...

I really think the only way to get through winter is to socialize. You'll lose your mind if not.

Beautiful Neighbor said...

Oh. my. You are killing me. You were SO FREAKING FUNNY at book club. I'm so glad you got rid of your headache, and got a nice, cozy high as a benefit. Yay, Percocet! But seriously, you may have been the "high" of our evening. :)
Winter blahs be gone!

Marie Green said...

Michelle- yes, freakishly gleeful would describe it perfectly. Freakishly gleeful with a numb/tingly feeling in my cheeks.

And beautiful neighbor- it was YOU that I nearly dove head-first across the room to hug, then got self conscious and sat down, thinking no one noticed. =) After that experience, I can TOTALLY SEE how SAHM's become closet pill addicts.

Trish said...

Agreed - nothing better than being with friends to help cure the winter BLAH BLAH BLAHSSSSSSS!

And OMG - throwing shit away! Made my day today to get rid of stuff in my closets and bathroom. Also equally frustrates me that I put up with that crap until I finally deal with it ;)

Yay for seesters! So glad you can chat and giggle. Total therapy.

Celery, huh? New one for me! I won't even tell the Mr. - no need to encourage that one! LOL

Happy weekend to you love xo

Seester said...

Seester- I'm not sure if I should be happy that you cured your headache or concerned about your upcoming drug habit. Oh well, maybe we can get on that show "Intervention" if things really get out of control.. Just curious, were you on your special pills this morning when we were chatting or was that a "natural high?" (natural for me:)

Swistle said...

Oh, I LOVE the story of you being high at the book club! Percocet makes me realllllll melllowwwwww.

Marie Green said...

Seester: no, that was a natural high.

Also, now I'm wondering how I DID take percoset after both of my csections and not feel like I was high as a kite. I just felt... normal minus incision pain.

d e v a n said...

bwahaha!!! sooo not telling husband about the celery thing...

Anonymous said...

I'm a little set back about the whole leaving your razor at your mom's house. Geez, David must be a great guy to be ok with your not shaving! That reminds me of a quiz you used to ask people "Do you shave..." I still carry on asking random women that question, and still to my appreciation, most women do shave below! But that's prly mainly just in my age group!

Jess said...

Wait, really? Special occasions only? Is this a long-standing policy or has it changed over the years?

Tess said...

OMG I love this post. I know people who would KILL to have a stash of 50 Percoset. They tried to give me some when I had my jaw surgery and...nothing. Bah.

CELERY! I had not heard this.

designHER Momma said...

I love any post that deserves the label "hot mess".

And can I totally agree with the razor thing? (although I didn't leave mine anywhere - I just refuse to use the one I have.)

Sarah said...

Oh, man... I laughed so hard I forgot I was starting to get nauseous again.
I can't believe you haven't shaved since Christmas. Dude, I hadn't shaved since last Monday, and when I shaved yesterday and then drained the tub it looked like someone had killed a yeti in there. You must have some fine, slow growing hair. Lucky. Of course mine's all jacked up on pregnancy hormones and growing even faster than normal. Which is still pretty darn fast.

Sarah said...

Also, Percocet is both highly fun and highly addictive for me. I've pretty much sworn it off for like, cause it makes me SO HAPPY and I like it WAY too much. Any other pain meds and I just get sleepy and mellow. Percocet makes me love everyone and love the whole world and love my life and THEN take a nice nap.

Erin said...

HAHAHAHA! This post kicks ASS.

A nine day headache would drive ANYONE to take prescription painkillers in high-inducing combos. I'm glad the percoset worked.

I sure do like you. Want to come visit?

shruley said...

Am I missing something? I don't remember feeling much of anything with Percocet, even much pain relief. Hmmm. I really want to try some Versed. When Mikella gets it she is SO happy, life is great. And I met a girl who said she LOVED spinal taps (or the Versed that went with them). If it makes a spinal tap great, I want some!

Marie Green said...

Jess- be careful of any standard you are setting. That's my advice!

Tess- try it when not in pain sometime... I didn't feel high on it after surgery, either. (Do you like that? How I'm ENCOURAGING you do "do" prescription drugs?!)

designHer momma: high five on not shaving! Let's stick it to the man!... or erm, something...

Sarah: Oh, man you yeti comment is hilarious. I can't stop giggling over it. And what you said about percoset? EXACTLY how I felt at bookclub the other night.

Erin- yes, please, I'd love to come over. You know, we really SHOULD meet in person sometime...

shruley- I KNOW, I never felt this way after my surgeries either. I cannot imagine taking care of a NEWBORN whilst that high! However, two thoughts: 1. it was the toradol/percoset COMBO that did me in or 2. when you're actually in pain and recovering, percoset has less of an "high" effect than if you are totally healthy minus a headache? Like, it's too busy actually masking REAL INCISION pain to make you high?

Ha, ha, I'M SO MEDICALLY INCLINED IN MY EXPLINATIONS! =)

d e v a n said...

hehe - Percocet is the same way for me. After baby, dulls the pain but doesn't make me feel drunk.
Not in as high a level of pain? TOTALLY feel in love with everything - which is how I feel drunk too.

GreenStyleMom said...

You just made my day!! I was feeling all BLAH but not anymore!!

Good Enough Mom said...

OMG with the celery....I am peeing in my pants..."For Who??" TOTALLY what I would have said. I gotta read more of your blog...