Thursday, August 9, 2007

Wanderlust

I just finished Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Loved. So good. Want to go to Italy, India, and Indonesia now.

Actually, I want to go just about anywhere. I'm even itching to move, change scenery, do something new and exciting. I need adventure.

We are planning a "vacation" out to the Black Hill of SD. We'll be gone for about 11 days. But I grew up there. So there will be lots of time away from home... but in a place that I already know forward and backwards.

(I'm still looking forward to our trip though. It'll be nice to have so many other adults around. I plan on reading and relaxing and just enjoying being with my family.)

But THEN, I still have the desperate desire to go someplace new, do some exploring. I don't even think a vacation is what I'm longing for. I guess I'm just feeling tied down, like all of life's big decisions have been made and this is what my life will be for at least the next 20 years. While I am mostly very content with how our life is here in Tiny Town, sometimes I am struck with the overwhelming WANT of moving someplace new- with now having so many responsibilities and so many people that my decisions would effect. Elizabeth Gilbert got to spend a year- a WHOLE YEAR- "discovering" herself. I don't see myself getting a week, or even a weekend, to myself. And this full life of kids and love and snuggles and bedtime stories is so satisfying, most of the time... Well, I guess I'm missing FREEDOM.

Ya know?

8 comments:

Swistle said...

Just another couple of decades and we'll be free, too!

Me Today said...

I DO know! I am in that exact same boat - the want of freedom.
Just had to pop on over and say, "HI" because I saw your comment on Swistle's site about David being a rock star and I just cracked up out loud. That is the funniest image ever!
Love you, David!

Feener said...

great post. i enjoyed that book as well, but i know i am not that type of person, i need family and routine. i feel i lived a bunch post college, i got married when i was 35, meet him at age 32, and had first child at 36....so luckily i feel i did a BUNCH of travel and freedom. however, i feel what you are saying most days. maybe that is what retirement will be ??

Erin said...

I can totally understand this feeling. I long for a child-free vacation with my husband (like sit on the beach for a few days and drink large amounts of alcohol too early in the day and sleep in and go for long walks at night... that sort of thing), because we never really did that before kids.

But I also have friends who are still at that point in their lives. Unattached. Successful jobs. All the freedom in the world to fly to Europe and Belize and spending weeks exploring Chile and Peru. And you know what? They want what I have. They long for people to come home to, for a family of their own, for the comfort of knowing someone is committed to you for the rest of their lives. But there are trade-offs either way. Sorry about the rambling comment. It just got me thinking... Great post!

Katie said...

Girl, do I EVER know. Ask any mother out there. She will know.

I get stressed out when people tell me to "just enjoy this time while they're little because one day you'll wish for it back." That totally stresses me out. Because it is HARD. I am jealous of people who can just go DO things. And, then I get sad because I know they are right.

I desperately wish for time "off." Then, when I do get a couple hours to myself, I can't stop wishing I was back home with the kid. What the HELL?

Motherhood is just one big giant conundrum splashed liberally with guilt.

Black Sheeped said...

J's parents go to Sturgis every summer, and I know it's still going strong. You'll probably see loooots of bikers. It technically ends this weekend, but I think people still hang out for a week after. I don't know about construction.

I loved South Dakota when we went with them a few years ago. So pretty. I hugged a wild donkey.

Yes. Yes, I did.

Anne said...

Honey, I hear you. I just enjoyed my first 36 hours of freedom without the girl in her two-year life. I laughed at myself as I ENJOYED a two hour flight delay by buying this exact book and reading it in the airport. Strangely it was lovely -- no worrying about delayed bedtime or running out of goldfish crackers....although I did have the urge to help every frayed mother I saw toting an over-tired little one through the airport. The lesson I learned -- look for the little escapes and eat them up.

Marie Green said...

Anne- glad you are liking the book! I can't wait to talk to you about it when you're done! And you're right, recognizing and grabbing those little bursts of free time does help. I think I'm in the typical "I've been nursing for 10+ months and I'm starting to feel tied down".