Tuesday, August 4, 2009

How To Potty Train Your Kid: Super-lazy Method

Step 1: Have potty chair out for months. Casually offer it up for use, giving praise for successes and no emotion for refusals.

Step 2: Show child Super! Cool! big kid underpants. Show no emotion when they are refused.

Step 3: Point out all the neighborhood children who already wear Super! Cool! big kid underpants. Offer again. Continue to show no emotion at diaper preference.

Step 4: Allow months to go by, casually offering underpants and potty chair usages. Try not to give one tiny little raisin poo if child has successes or failures. Remind yourself often of the silver lining to diapers.

Step 5: Finally realize that your child is ready to train, no matter how adamantly she refused to wear underwear. Have light bulb moment when she is playing with a friend and then pauses, mid-stride, and stands awkwardly frozen while saying calmly to friend "Jussa minute. I have to pee in my diaper."

Step 6: Force child into underwear. Bribe with chocolate and wipe away her tears.

Step 7: Discover a this blog: SouleMama.com and dive in head first. Do not come up for air for DAYS. Leave child in underwear during this time, but be so involved in the new blog love that you never remind her to go potty. Blearily help with potty-ing and then go immediately back to blog.

Step 8: Realize 2 days later that she's been in underwear for over 48 hours (minus sleeping-times) and hasn't had a single accident. (This realization will likely penetrate your daydreams of learning how to sew and knit and make quilts and and and and... brain implodes due to input-overload.)

Step 9: Think to self- Huh, I guess this means she's potty trained? I think? Go back to daydreaming/overstimulated state.

Step 10: Try not to celebrate too much, realizing there's sure to be set-backs. Also, try not to panic about the fact that your "baby" is getting bigger by the day. Go back to reading the archives of above mentioned blog.

(At least she still looks like a baby whilse she sleeps, no?)


Kelsey said...

Yes, she definitely still has that baby-ish quality, don't worry!

Anonymous said...

Definitely, the sleepy baby look is still there but our girls are growing up! Congrats on the potty victory.

KS said...

I love your method. I can not wait to be able to use it.

clueless but hopeful mama said...


(I LOVE SouleMama! So inspiring and lovely. I wish my life looked like her blog.)