Thursday, September 6, 2007

Funk

I can't pull out of it.

I'm grouchy and depressed and my worst-mommy-side is showing. I've screeched at my poor little girls waaaaaayyyyyy too much, and they don't deserve it, and I want to explain to them, but I don't know what to explain. So I'll say I'm sorry.

There are ants. We don't know why, or where they are coming from, or what exactly they are eating. But they've taken over a portion of my kitchen. They make me feel gross.

There is much to do, just to keep my head above water. By the time I make the beds, clear the table, put the baby down for a nap, shower, do the dishes, pick up all the tiny (chokable) toys the big kids have drug out, get everyone dressed, do everyone's hair, make a snack, clean up more dishes, kill a bizillion more ants....Well, after I do all that, there are more toys out, more dishes to do, lunch to make, more messes to clean, butts to wipe, diaper pails to empty. You see where I'm going right? How is it possible that ALL of my energy and efforts go into keeping everyone and everything CLEAN, and this place is still a dump???? I do have standards, and they've been lowered a few times during this parenthood gig. I'm afraid if I lower them anymore because... well, I'm just afraid to lower them anymore.

I have to work tonight for the first time in ages (b/c we were on vacation, then the holiday Monday, etc.), so maybe that's just what I need.

Gaaaa.

8 comments:

Butrfly4404 said...

Sorry to hear. I've been very "funkish" lately myself. The yelling has gotten to me as well.

I think you answered yourself that there will always be dishes. There will always be laundry to do. Toys to be picked up. Granted, you can't quit doing any of them. There is something called a "happy medium" that I've yet to find - but I hear it's out there.

If all that fails, you can tell yourself,
"Happiness is doing with a smile what you have to do anyway."

(And just keep reminding yourself that in a couple years, you can teach the older girls to do the dishes!! :D )

Tracy said...

I think you just described every stay at home mother in America (or at least the ones I know) It is kind of scary how accurate it is. (of course, I have let the bed thing slide. I just can't get the beds made anymore. I straighten them before I go to bed.)

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

You are not alone. I feel this way at least weekly, sometimes daily.

Hang in there. Or at least that's what everyone always tells me.

Swistle said...

Ug. I KNOW. I've been LOSING IT.

Feener said...

i hear you, somedays i am amazed at what we moms do. dishes. laundry. sing itsy bitsy and abc's over and over and over. sometimes it just wears on you. my playgroup folks all seem to be in a major funk, helps to have others to vent to. hope your funk lifts soon.

Erin said...

Oh girl, I understand. It will pass. It will! But it doesn't suck any less in the meantime. Hang in there.

Farrell said...

I only have one and I feel like this. The laundry? There are only two of us. HOW DOES IT NEVER END? I think I am a good mom to my one. I'm not sure I could handle more, sadly.

shauna loves chocolate said...

I'm so sorry. I've been there. Too often.