Last night, our New Years Eve celebration included _more_ children than adults. We borrowed a BINGO game, played some Wii, and stuffed ourselves with copious amounts of delicious foods.
We had planned to have a "ceremony" of sorts, where we all wrote our regrets for the year on little pieces of paper, and then burned them in the fireplace. Our plans were for naught, however, because a) our woodpile is buried in snow and b) the kids kept us so hopping that it just never was a "good time".
I do want to think about my regrets for 2009. I like the idea of listing out the things I'd most like to change about the past year, because it gives me clarity for goals in the upcoming year.
Without further ado, here's my list:
1. I wish we'd completed a few more house projects this year. We still have plenty of wallpaper covered rooms, and chipping away and these types of projects a little at a time makes such a difference.
2. I wish I had committed to an exercise plan throughout the year. Last winter, I was religious about the 30 DS and taking long walks with a friend, this summer I was quite active- walking and biking the kids to the library and their activities... so it's not as if I don't exercise. It's that I don't have a HARD AND FAST routine.
3. I wish I'd spent more time with each of my daughters one-on-one. Actually, Marin and I get plenty of time alone, but Kate and Joan always get lumped together.
4. Oh god, how I wish I'd yelled less, been more patient/kind/gentle, used less sharp tones and sarcasm, spent more time listening and less time bossing, made more eye contact and less "Mommy's busy"-type noises... I really wish I'd embodied the mother I know I *could* be.
5. I wish I'd put more effort in my marriage. Although I would not call our relationship a FAIL by any means, it's often the part of our lives that continually finds it's way to the back burner. I can sense that too many more days/weeks/months/years of allowing this to happen will cause a chasm too large to cross any longer.
So, do me a favor, and imagine a fire, and imagine my regrets on small slips of paper, burning in the fire... becoming ash and floating around toward the top of the chimney. And not, instead, escaping through our (non-existent) fire screen and burning small holes on my carpet....
*moment of silence*
Ahhhh, that feels much better. For some reason that exercise gave me more clarity of how I want to shape 2010 than trying to come up with a list of resolutions.
Happy New Year, my dears. Cheers to you!
4 comments:
I like the pic! And your regrets? All just symptoms of being human, but its good to have goals.
P.S. Thanks for the props on your other post!
Wow, you are on impressive chick. One thing you'll never have to regret: being honest with yourself. That kind of honesty brings grace and the kind of self-knowing others only dream of (or perhaps will never be self-aware enough to dream of! top that, freud). One more reason you're my bestest. Smooch.
I really love this post and I'm so happy you were honest enough to write it.
I like the focus on spending time the girls alone. I've been reading a couple of twins books lately, and they all place focus on spending time with the kids apart. As I read it, I was thinking it really applies to ALL siblings, as my sister and I (who were close in age) really didn't get any alone time with our parents either.
Happy New Year friend!
Your #5 is a big one for me. BIG.
And #4. Yes, yes and yes. I hear you.
One-on-one time for us a huge issue and I hope we can figure that out here one of these days. My twins always get lumped together as well.
Happy new year!
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