Saturday, November 14, 2009

New Life

My god, I spent some foolish time this evening composing (in my head) a crabby post about how awful my life was and WAH.

The truth about being a doula is this: reentering life after being at a delivery is hard.

Last night, I headed to the hospital at 9pm, where I had the honor of being with a sweet couple while they worked (labored!) to meet their daughter. After a long, tiring night, she delivered this morning. It was beautiful. As always, I was humbled by being allowed to witness the start of this new life, new family.

But anyway, I was exhausted when I got home this morning around 10 am. I hadn't eaten much all night, my body was sore, my feet ached, my stomach was acidic, and my eyelids felt sand-papery. I ate 2 tums, changed out of my clothes (hospital germs, ew ew ew), and burrowed under my covers for a long sleep.

My sweet husband was considerate and helpful all day. I was able to sleep until about 4pm, when I woke ravenous and grouchy.

My god! The house was such a mess! Forts covered the entire living room. Every blanket and pillow in the house had also migrated there. So many "attic toys" had been drug down and abandoned. Everything felt out-of-control and overwhelming. And I was feeling groggy and weird boo hooo hooo!

The kids were needy, clinging to me and jockeying over who got the prime "snuggling-with-mommy" real estate. I was, frankly, not up for being elbowed in the gut and smashed in the face by kid-sized skulls.

The rest is unimportant, except to confess of how grouchy and awful I felt all night, and to admit how rude I was to my girls and my husband.

The reality check came when, after everyone was finally in bed for the night, I went to warm a bean burrito for myself (re-entry equals messed up eating schedules too!) and found a spic-and-span clean microwave. It had been driving me crazy forevah! and hanging over my head... and then *poof* it was cleaned... by David.

My life is good, yo. It's too bad I don't always remember that.

So now, I'm going to bed, hoping that I get a "normal" night's sleep.

And tomorrow, I'm hoping to be the kind of person that my kids and husband deserve.

1 comment:

bingo woman said...

Nice to know you had a wonderful day. We all have are ups and downs. Blogs exist for them. :)